I want more books for myself, but we don’t have the money or the shelf room for them, so I read books from the library. Similarly, if she wants to play with these toys at a friends’ house or the toys at the library, that’s fine; we also let her spend her change on yard sale toys or to save it for a Zooble. But these wants we have aren’t needs in the sense that we can live without them, and that if we have to choose between these things and electricity or food, we obviously cannot purchase them for her. When we do have a gust of good luck—the time my husband won a gift card at his previous job, for example—we do share it, and she can get something then, too, and like Martin, I am grateful that I can provide her with these things. But they are, in fact, things, and in our home, we value intangible things like love, time together, and playing more than objects, and we would like to lead by example so that our daughter does, too.

That’s another thing that Martin touches upon but doesn’t delve into very deeply—modeling. I think as unschoolers, modeling is an important part of the lifestyle. Rather than barking orders, yelling, bribing, or guilting children into doing what we want, we need to A. question whether or not what we want for them is really something that is best for them (which Martin explains well—much better than I have here) and B. model things that we’d like to see in them. This is very effective, especially since our kids pick up on so much from us that we don’t even intend. My daughter, for example, doesn’t want to go to the circus because she knows that I don’t like the way they treat animals, even though I gave her the option of attending with her dad. Instead, she asks if she can go ride rides at an amusement center, and also asks me lots of other questions about animal welfare, which we look up together.

Martin also relies on the Law of Attraction in the book, which I happen to believe in; however, I think that could alienate readers, and I also think that while it could go with absolutely any subject material, it also doesn’t really fit in with the book. I do like the idea of doing a family vision board—up to this point, I’ve only kept my own—and will be taking the idea from the book to use in our lives, but in such a small space to introduce it, I don’t think those who were unfamiliar with the Law (or The Secret) would be able to take much from it.

Otherwise, I do think this book was a very warm, gentle piece of guidance for those who wish to tread more deeply into unschooling. I would love to see more from Martin—perhaps a book about her adventures, or even what a week with the Martins looks like, and especially how she seems to be so positive and relaxed the majority of the time! As an unschooling mom who works full time and doesn’t sleep much, I am always open to ideas on how to remain joyful and mindful of the moment when I’m juggling so much in my head. This book felt very much like having a conversation with Martin, or having an adventure with her and her children, which, I think, is the best way an unschooling book could feel.

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